Log Well, here’s a turn-up for the hows-your-father. Despite The Law of the Playground not being available in any bookshops, and despite the website being dead to new entries for a good while*, people have still been buying the Law of the Playground book. Over 4,000 copies in Britain, which has rendered three independant observers clinically … Read more
The Crow The Crow 2: The City of Angels The Crow 3: Salvation The Crow 4: The Wicked Prayer The Crow 5: The Crucible of Vengeance The Crow 6: The Deadly Rooftop Solo The Crow 7: The Deadly Dance of the Crow The Crow 8: The Eldritch Bedfellows Of The Crow The Crow 9: The … Read more
EMAIL ME IF YOU’VE SHIT YOURSELF PLEASE, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU I went home last weekend, to catch up with the folks. My dad is the reason I still laugh at farts, shit, piss and “all that”. Well, my mum has her part in it, too – if she hadn’t tutted and rolled … Read more
Hello. Nothing’s happened to me in the last two months. Sorry about that. I’m writing in the daytime, writing in the evenings, and when it comes to keeping the blog, I just weep dry syllables. I’ve been that pumped for prose that I no longer even think in words, and I have to hold up … Read more
Ladybirds are the kindest of all the insects. They are not the mandible-clacking monsters that museum curators keep as pets. They’re gentle, they never forget birthdays, and if you look stressed, a ladybird will play a set of ladybird-sized pan pipes until your cares evaporate, like milk. Why are ladybirds adorable? I shouldn’t have to … Read more
I just found the best email I have ever written in a professional capacity. Do you want to read a bit of it? I fucking know you do. I broke it down like this, because there’s only so many times I can watch things eating shit while talking to myself in a shouty German accent… … Read more
SCENE ONE: CARDIFF GWEN Hello Jack, I found this in a spaceship. It has made my tits huge. JACK Watch out, it’s got monsters in it! THEY FUCK UNTIL GWEN GLOWS GWEN WHAT IS HAPPENING MY TITS ARE HATCHING JACK I’m just that good, baby. [he smokes a cigarette which also hatches] SCENE TWO : … Read more
Welcome to my website. You’ve probably arrived here from Google – where this post has managed to get onto the front page for a search for “cock pics”. I imagine this isn’t the first place you’ve looked for cock pics, so please – take a break from your cock pic hunt and post a short … Read more
Q. I RECKON I WANT TO BE A GAMES JOURNALIST A. And who can blame you? Being a Games Journalist is the finest thing the human soul can aspire to, but I’ll warn you right now; demand is so high that you are going to have to “get in the fucking queue”. The responsibilities are … Read more
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.