Gotcha Oscar Brewery
Peddlar's Shit Ale
Retford, Nottinghamshire
4.5%

A real traditional brew, the Peddlar's Shit is a thick, soupy beer, tangibly pregnant with the hot whiff of sick, and containing a real peacock egg in every pint. After three minutes in the gut of the luckless drinker, it rebels spectacularly, causing gruesome gunk to fly out of the navel. At this stage, the drinker has approximately three minutes to void his bowels, before the peacock eggs hatches. Should this happen, gorgeous tail feathers will come out of your arse, and a beak will come out of your bell-end, which allows you use it like a drill.