From : Jesus Christ
Date : 13 March 2000
To : Terry Scott
Subject : Re: New Subject

Oh, look. When you put Re: in front of that subject, it makes a real word. I think I shall put "Light My Fire" or "Oh, De (Ja) Niro" as the next subject title. This internet thing is brilliant! So many new things!

Actually, your current situation is lifted directly from an episode of Home To Roost, starring the delicious John Thaw. I think you'll find that your fears are misplaced, as it is your neighbour's son who is growing cannabis in his greenhouse, and your son is merely protecting him. Here's what I'd do.

Sit your boy down, and tell him that his mother is dead. Tell him that she was eaten alive on a train by junkies. When he begins crying, start laughing, and say "that's how I felt when I thought I'd lost a son to the perils of recreational drug use". Then look serious again, say "you've been bad", and slap him. Playing Good Dad, Bad Dad will win you your child's most precious gift - his fear.