When I was seven, I started my first job at a peanut factory. It was there that I met Steve, who wore a big pair of golden wings. He was the factory jack-the-lad, always up to nonsense and mischief. I remember the once... he asked me to fetch his ball back from this mean old man's garden. He said that the mean old man would hurt him if he did it, and seeing as I was Jesus he'd have to let me go and get it. Well, it turned out that the mean old man was God - and the "Ball" was an analogy for my own doubts, and by trying to find my own doubts in God's garden, I had made a deep metaphorical error. As my punishment, I had to think "I'm sorry" two thousand times, which isn't as easy as it sounds, especially when God's watching.

I miss Steve.