I want to see more pictures Of Mother Theresa on a bicycle. I'm not sick, or a pervert, but this is what I want.

I cannot believe that there are not more pictures of Mother Theresa riding a bicycle on the internet. People waste so much time with pornography, and they do not seem to want to see pictures of this fine (dead) woman riding a bicycle. Well, grow up everyone! These people who make pornography are only giving people what they want, so if we all start wanting pictures of Mother Theresa on a bicycle, then they will appear. It is like a form of prayer that the internet answers instead of God. Mother Theresa really liked God, and so do I, so I do not pray to the internet.

Mother Theresa looked after a lot of really sick people. Then she died. Perhaps we should have looked after her - it really makes you think, doesn't it? I am sad that she died, but it is all for the best.

Mother Theresa wore sandals too - perhaps this is why there are not many pictures of her riding bicycles. They may have flapped at her heels, and caused her feet to slip off the pedals. Then, the slightly spiked edges of the pedals, designed to increase grip, may have clawed at the back of her ankles. I understand this, but I do not think it is any excuse. There should be more pictures of Mother Theresa on a bicycle. I don't care how much it hurt her.

This is Mother Theresa.

Get on a bike, you bitch!

I didn't mean that. I'm sorry if it was offensive. I just get so worked up that there are no pictures. I want to make an offer to the world. Find me a picture of Mother Theresa on a bike, and I will give you ten pounds. No, that's not enough - I've waited for so long now, that I want more. I want Mother Theresa and Desmond Tutu riding tandem on a log which is floating down a river near to a waterfall. Only then will I give you ten pounds.

Thank you for reading this. If anything, I feel better for having got it off my chest. If you have any help or suggestions, please send them to my email address, which is mother-theresa@douche.co.uk . I would do it as a link (I have seen people do it) but I do not know how.