Then they crucified me. This came as a bit of a shock. I was thinking what I could have for tea, maybe some cold pizza from last night, or something, and boom! Up on the cross, couple of nails, goodnight Jesus. Tits!

To tell the truth, being crucified isn't all that bad. You find things to occupy yourself with after a while. At times I thought dirty, to see if I could lift my pants up with my willy, and at other times I made this little joke to my friends around me.

"You look a little cross."
"I am a bit. I'm innocent, and my wife is really sexy."
"I was talking to your cross. Mine's bigger."

Then we all died.