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[Blyth v Niggerkind]
The Memory of
THUNDERBIRD
They just won't let your childhood
be, will they? Nigel Planer murdered the Magic Roundabout, "Chopper" isn't
just a bike, apparently it's a helicopter, and now they've just
killed Thunderbird. Oh, it's still there. But they've
killed it.
It was 1988, and I was 14 when I first
met Thunderbird. I started on the Blue, of course. Didn't we all? At £3.49
I could also stretch to a Marathon and a quarter of Kola Cubes. And I was
happy with my Blue Thunderbird; we spent time in the park together, sometimes
went to see some friends.
But after a couple of weeks the cheeky
red number caught my eye. An enigmatic minx, whispering promises of dreams
I had forgotten how to dream. It jeered as I bought its cheaper cousin.
I was piqued. Why was it over a pound more expensive? I decided to forego
the Marathon that wintry night, and cantered off to the park with a new
darling.
The difference is simple; 17.5% as opposed
to 13.5%. Only 4% - but it made a marked difference to my behaviour.
In conversation....
-
BLUE : I talked more
than usual.
-
RED : I gave away
military secrets.
In behaviour....
-
BLUE : Became well-disposed
to strangers.
-
RED : Became strangely-disposed
to wells.
And in belief....
-
BLUE : Got happy
and thought I was funny.
-
RED : Got happy and
became a treehouse, insisting that people climb up my leg and store their
nuts in my armpits.
Mournfully, Blue Thunderbird is now 13.1%
- possibly to placate an army of parents who should be encouraging their
children to drink alcohol. And of course, they've got Peach Thunder, Berry
Thunder and Cola Thunder. I find it difficult to sleep at night,
knowing they are out there..
Take me back
to the paradise city.. please.