Our Gang! See Who Wants To Join!

Our Constitution

ARTICLE ONE

There shall be no boys in the Best Friends Bunch. This is vital because boys pick their noses, and do trumps. Not only do boys trump, they talk about what it smells like, and give each other money based on who does the best farts. The Best Friends Bunch is for girls only, so that certain activities (such as combing each others hair and bean-hole inspections) shall remain sacred and unmocked.

ARTICLE TWO

No guns shall be waved about in Best Friends Bunch meetings. We are not a violent organisation, and if guns are to be kept about the person, they should be kept in a pocket, or tucked into the knickers. If a new person is admitted to the Best Friend Bunch, then the gun may be shot into the air in celebration. The only way out of the Best Friend Bunch is a bullet in the motherfucking head.

ARTICLE THREE

Musically, the Best Friend Bunch shall only listen to Now That's What I Call Musics, before number 37, but after they stopped using the funky pig as a mascot. I like the way they find different terrains for each album. Firescape, cloudscape, snowscape, dreamscape, pumpybumscape - I made the last one up! I remember there was one with the number made out of bent metal pipes.

ARTICLE FOUR

All forms of explicit naughtyness shall be cleared in a meeting before they shall be openly used and giggled at. Previous forms of naughtiness that have passed are "I bet he's warm in bed", "Look at the size of his name", and "I bet you don't get many of them to the unit". Rejected naughtinesses include "silly billy hairy willy", "refilling on the fly", and "refried beans".

ARTICLE FIVE

Any special days out must be cleared with the leader of the SuperFriends (who for the purposes of this statutory instrument is Jennifer P. Tolstoy in perpetuity since time immemorial amen) in case they are somewhere stupid like Drayton Manor Park and Zoo, which I've been to and all it is is a lava lamp and a poorly zebra.