Hi, Jennifans! Here’s something I did that… well, it makes me want to puke to be honest, but I think it captures Jennifer’s playful, sexy and psychotic nature pretty OK-ish. It’s also convinced me to put that third cake back in the bin. That third delicious cake, whose only sin was to be born so irresistable. He never asked to be so delicious! That poor cake is just like me, I should definitely eat it. But this is the last cake today!
I AM SO NAUGHTY
Also, what the fuck is wrong with my elbow? Why has no-one told me my elbow looks like that?
[Oh, and… in case you’re wondering what the fuck this is, or who Jennifer is, it’s a terrible thing to have to explain – but basically she’s my ex-girlfriend, and here’s a 2D-adventure she had in 2001]
Because I’m at work I’ve just watched this muted.
I look forward to seeing it with sound because right now I’m thinking “severe mental breakdown”.
The sound was stripped from the file at some stage, for some reason. You’re not missing much, I just screamed a bit in a bad Scottish accent. What you’ve got now, instead, is the delightful electrified stylings of Combustible Edison, with their swinging track “Short Double Latté”.
Oh God yes. Consider me gasping and spread-eagled for more. Oh sweet mercy, how I wish I could have been that broom stick.
Filth. I done a cum you naughty girl.
I’ve just shown this to all Log’s workmates. Several became visibly, glisteningly, aroused. Then there was an impromptu round of applause!
It was just like that advert where that drippy bitch walks into the office and everyone’s looking at her dancing in her room. Only I was dressed cross-gender and wanking off a plastic broom. I’m off to Piccadilly Circus now. If my calculations are correct, this should be making it onto the McDonald’s LCD screen any minute now, and I want an old Japanese couple to point at me.
I’d be interested to know why yo — ahem, why Jennifer whacked the broomstick so furiously after wanking it off. Was time of the essence, and she needed to slap out those last few drops of willy whites before the broomstick had time to naturally detumesce? Or did an cheeky hornet hilariously disrupt the proceedings?
Take us behind the scenes, I beg you.
Your elbow shows signs of having had numerous rug burns heal over and then having the scabs picked off. I understand the whole bit about wanting to be a “bottom” but look at the price, man, look at the price. Imagine what those puckered fuckers will look like when you hit the wall at 40 years and your flesh goes slack. Thank god the sphincter is the last muscle to go.
Did you shave your legs?
No, I didn’t – I just have stupid ginger leg hairs that you can’t see. I’d give anything for thick black Grecian hair, covering my shins, neck and bell-end.
ANYTHING.
That actually made me hurt with laughter :’ {
Why is the video no longer available?
The witch cunts who got Jennifer’s Pets removed from YouTube managed to get the whole account deleted. Or perhaps they deleted my accounts because I was posting under multiple identities to create a sensation of pro-me. Who knows? Jennifer’s original video was sadly lost, too. It is one of the profoundest losses to the internet since net neutrality.