Do you like video games? Yes, you do. I know you do. You like video games so much, don’t you? But do you know why you like video games? You like video games because everyone likes video games. Stop acting like it’s your thing. Look! I’ve got a video game in my hands right now! … Read more
If you’re anything like me, you love going to historically important sites, staffed by passionate volunteers, and being a snarky cow about their desolate autumnal rhubarb patches. Nothing makes me feel more connected to my heritage than walking around the grounds of a stately home, or enjoying the sunlight dappling through the canopy of a … Read more
CAN’T BE BOTHERED TRANSCRIBING THIS INTERVIEW WITH THE OWNER OF BIG BOYS. CAN YOU USE AI TO GET THE WORDS OUT, MAUREEN? THEN JUST POST THAT. POST THESE INSTRUCTIONS TOO IDC Hello there! You’re early. Come in. Come into Big Boys. Here’s the door. Come in. Push the doors. There you go. I know, there’s … Read more
Anushka Sharma Anna Soubry MP Seanus Heaney Anus Rusbridger Anal McManus Neneh’s Brother, Eagle Eye Cherry An Usher Lookalike Magnanus Magnanusson This pain au chocolat (Thanks to Paul and Richard)
Simon Chong is the best human being there is. He turned the previous blog post script, which we performed here – (jump to 34 minutes in) [soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/115774153″ width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /] into this I rest my case. Simon Chong. Best human being.
SCENE ONE: HOW DIANA AND PRINCE CHARLES MET DIANA Howay jugalugs, I bet my tits are bigger than your arse CHARLES No way you fancy Nancy, I gots them juicy Windsor boo-tarks. Charles slaps his ass and juggles his buttocks in a wild infinity loop DIANA Fuck off Wales, I’m gonna lay down a monkey … Read more
Now that More Magazine has been closed, it falls to enthusiastic amateurs to give teenage ladies their sexy tips. SHOTGUN! 1/ Cover a part of your body with a serviette. Roughly 75% of the way through your steamy sesh, whip off the serviette and say “there’s another bit for ya“. 2/ Tug at his balls … Read more
This is one of the Ricky Gervais horses I was talking about in the title. I have “photoshopped” Ricky into the picture for comparison. Notice the similarity of the mouths. If you can measure a man’s happiness and success by how wide fucking open his mouth is, Ricky Gervais is as happy and successful as … Read more
Yesterday was Mother’s Day. If you’re reading this in a country that has phased out mums in favour of a municipal satchel of eggs, then this might be an alien concept to you. It is a day when everyone offers evidence-free and uniformly positive feedback regarding their mums. WHY THIS IS WRONG 1. If she’s … Read more