Bobak was born so many years ago that he can’t remember it. His first memory of being alive is playing handstand games and falling over onto some concrete. He was unconscious for ten senconds, but it was ten wonderful seconds of colours and swelling temples. After that, he says he truly felt alive, and spent many weeks trying to recreate the experiment. Sadly, this put the main blood vessel running from the middle of his brain to his heart under too much pressure, and it blew up. He had to be plugged into a machine which did his living for him until he got better.

Stuck in a world of flesh and metal combined, Bobak strove to define the best of both worlds, riding between heartless efficiency and emotional empathy. However, he was rubbish at it, and ended up killing his parents for bad time management and falling in love with an electric blanket.

The guilt weighed heavily on Bobak’s mind, and he fell in with a bad crowd. He got a job waving sticks at tigers, but got fired on the second week, after his boss found him shooting up skunks on the shop floor. In the trial, he was acquitted on a legal technicality, largely because nobody quite knew what shooting up skunks entailed, or if it was illegal. It was narrowed down to

- injecting marijuana into himself
- injecting heroin into skunks
- firing a gun up a skunk’s arse

Nobody knows, to this day, least of all Bobak. His descent into depression and self-mutilation led him to volunteer to be built into the arms of a concrete bear and exhibited in a living art gallery next to a boy who was being slowly electrocuted. 

Just before they put the last paw on the bear, however, he decided that he wanted to join a rhythm and blues band. The exhibition nearly couldn’t go ahead, but in the end they got a court order to put a rapist in the bear’s arms instead.