Words – people say they’re “old-fashioned” and “what’s with the words, grandpa” – but I would reply “you just used words then didn’t you” and they’d go “oo what a valuable lesson”.
Everyone loves a list. If a list could hit someone in the balls, they’d be the funniest thing in the world. If only someone would compile a “most traumatic nutsack impact videos” list, perhaps I could truly laugh again. To that end, allow me to point you towards Listopia – a site that looks set … Read more
If anyone here reads the Guardian, then hello! You’re probably aware of Charlie Brooker. And his column, Screen Burn. And how good it nearly always is. So you’ll probably be fucking appalled to see this image, across which I have brushed the word “Wahey”. It’s only for a week, but still, I’m pretty chuffed. I’ve … Read more
I have just been up an attic. There were cobwebs, translucent red insects, and boxes. Some of the boxes contained old games, which I’ll probably post soon as part of the “wasn’t 80s box-art awesome” shit you’d expect of a fucking games journalist. I found old issues of “The Zine”, a short-lived magazine from the … Read more
Heyup – brief hiatus there, as a slow WordPress upgrade got the site infected with Belgian Furniture and a javascript redirect to wp-stats-php.info. If you found yourself beset by Worms, then I can only pull my legs apart and offer you a free kick on my poor, asymmetrical nuts. In the meantime, here is some … Read more
I wrote a piece in today’s Guardian about affirmations. I’ve never been comfortable around affirmations. This is because I’ve always had the idea that I should live life as though I’m being watched by a studio audience, and shouting at yourself about how exactly you’re awesome is the kind of thing that would deserve a … Read more
…of how my trousers fell down and I laughed. If you’re thinking “that’s all very well, but’s I very much doubt if it’s something The Guardian would print in their Comments & Debate section” – if that’s what you’re thinking – then I can see your point. But you’d be wrong! Anyone buying the nation’s … Read more
Synthetic Opinion is my attempt to weave a strong opinion out of something I know nothing about. This one was suggested by Rob, who writes the excellent Internets Dairy. He asked: “Log, do you think the Large Hadron Collider MUST BE STOPPED in case a tiny black hole swallows the Earth? (Remember the set of … Read more
I promised to write a 700-word opinion piece on any shit you care to suggest. The only rule is that I can’t research a single thing. The first suggestion came in from Adam… “What about that hot button topic for 2008 – the US Presidential election?” No sooner said than done, Adam! And to celebrate … Read more
Here’s how to enjoy St David’s Day – first go out with a Welshman, then go to the pub. http://www.disappointment.com/welsh There’s a 12-page booklet in there. It’s a pdf, if you fucking please. Also some photos, which you won’t be interested in unless you’re a mate. Which, I admit, is probably all of you.
Whenever I have an opinion, I tend to find it pretty embarrassing. Being wrong’s humiliating enough, but when you’re wrong about something you were dumb enough to frankly care about, it’s like pressing a heart–shaped cookie–cutter against your chest and making a noisy display of ripping yourself slightly open. I’ve done it a couple of … Read more