Apologies From A Man Leaving The Games Industry

I recently performed, or “read out”, a piece I’d written for Reads Like A Seven, at the kind request of One Life Left‘s Ste Curran. What I wrote was a mixture of sincerity, confession and juvenile scatology, and because it’s 2,500 words, I’m not going to blather on here. TL:DR; I shit on my balls in Austria, I’m … Read more

It's Time The Tale Were Told…

…of how my trousers fell down and I laughed. If you’re thinking “that’s all very well, but’s I very much doubt if it’s something The Guardian would print in their Comments & Debate section” – if that’s what you’re thinking – then I can see your point. But you’d be wrong! Anyone buying the nation’s … Read more

So You Want To Be A Games Journalist

Q. I RECKON I WANT TO BE A GAMES JOURNALIST A. And who can blame you? Being a Games Journalist is the finest thing the human soul can aspire to, but I’ll warn you right now; demand is so high that you are going to have to “get in the fucking queue”. The responsibilities are … Read more

Midwives : I Have Fucked Everything Up Right Proper

Gather round, scamps and travellers – and hear my tale. Hear about what happens when you allow unapologetic incompetents to flail unchecked in the offices of our land. My own tale begins innocently enough, with a simple lapse in organisation, followed by a profound disinclination to “do anything about it”, in the spirit of “oh … Read more

I Trumped Seven Time In Two Minute

This entry is karma for my previous “work toilet” entry, in which the man in the next cubicle made wild rattling noises and gasped “shit“. This time, it was my turn to be the monster in the cupboard. Note from the 2020’s – this was written before the word Trump was ruined by America. I’ve … Read more

Brenda Is Dead : Long Live Monica

It’s not entirely fair. Boo hoo, it’s not fair. 🙁 My job covering the cervical screening course ended ten days ago, but they liked me enough to take me back. Now I’m in another role, whose details are too dull to properly understand. But today is my first day back, after taking a week off … Read more

The Lighter Side Of Brenda

Sometimes, Brenda lets you into her world. It’s a strange thing, to be embraced by someone you despise – especially if you have the instinctive desire to be liked by everyone, no matter how much they’ve proved themself to be a big anus. On the one hand, I was enjoying the fact that this creature … Read more

Brenda vs The Chinaman

< < Who’s Brenda? : Meet Her | Fear Her | Touch Her | Hear Her I have just been forced to overhear the most excruciating conversation of my so-short life. Brenda has just invented and solved a problem that affected no-one, in one of her frequent shouting sessions that let everyone know how fucking … Read more