I received a text this week, from a number that my phone didn’t recognise. It was a joke, and the joke was so excellent that I’ve decided to rewrite it here, as an equally excellent sketch. INT. AFTERNOON. GARY AND TOM’S BEDROOM. Gary : Well, that rounds off a weekend of nothing but hot fucking. … Read more
In order to make up for recent “laddish” talk about pissing in the sink, shitting on my balls, and pressing my palms firmly against birds’ tits, this is a GIRLS ONLY post. Only GIRLS may click on the image below, which will answer the question all girls need answered! Girls!
Well, I very much enjoyed our last talk about piss, so let me share another story about it, that happened but recently. If you read on, I’ve also got a poo story that is OFFICIALLY 2HOT4PCZONE. Can you imagine how hot that story must be? It is hot. Talking about pisses and poos is totally … Read more
I have reached an important point in my life; I’ve had a genuinely exciting epiphany. I’ve figured out that it’s unchewed chilli peppers that make my balls ache just before I shit. This might seem like nothing to you, but it’s pretty much solved the only issue I have with my body – namely, why … Read more
Got a proper job Reviewing computer games Will write something soon It’s a bit rum, having a job I want to be good at. Doesn’t leave much time for fucking about, taking photos of plastic fannies and doing everything in my power to not be productive. I’ll be back at the blog soon, and any … Read more
Gather round, scamps and travellers – and hear my tale. Hear about what happens when you allow unapologetic incompetents to flail unchecked in the offices of our land. My own tale begins innocently enough, with a simple lapse in organisation, followed by a profound disinclination to “do anything about it”, in the spirit of “oh … Read more
This award ceremony is held in the honour of my competition winner, mydeaddog, to whom I have dedicated the rest of February. I daresay we’ll be seeing a bit of him around here over the next few posts – anyway, this is the best idea I have ever had for a film. 24 HOUR DELIVERY A young girl, who … Read more
Oh, no! I emailed my good friend Ruth Madoc (pissdrenched@gmail.com) with five images that I got from Google Image search. She loves receiving thematically linked images, and I love her being happy. However, she’s gone on holiday, and I’ve hit my head with a saucepan. This has resulted in me losing the images, and forgetting … Read more
Every image from the random image script on the front of the Adecco website. I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna fucking get out there and do me some a1 photocopying. And by a1 I mean “top grade” rather than the paper size, because ours can only do a3 although it is a fax, … Read more
I just received the finest joke via email. It had the subject title “FW: Hilarious!!! Onestone!!!” Now, I’ve just this very second invented the Whatever Next? Model of Absurd Extrapolation, so I was amazed to suddenly find myself at the very forefront of a new model of joke distribution. Even if I’m not the first … Read more