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A free
T-shirt would be bitchin', wouldn't it! Well, that's what I'm about
to give you, with several very important provisions. You print it onto
T-shirt transfer paper, which costs £25,000 for six sheets, and
iron it yourself onto a £3 blank white T-shirt, which will fall
apart as soon as it sees water.
As for
me, I get nothing - just the assurance that companies that produce over-priced
shiny paper and flimsy casual wear are kept afloat in this uncertain
century.
My own
commitment to making pages that include some graphics remains unaffected
by this offer.
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Bedwetting
[order code 1A33]
This fine piece, as featured in the Joey Deacon section,
contains the four main players in the Deacon story. The four boys
who later went on to form a successful chain of newsagents, but
blew it all on funding illegal pigfights in rural Derbyshire.
Josie
Rogers did this picture as part of the Doctor Deacon extravaganza
- I thank her.
[Full
size]
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Cleopatra's
History of the Entire World [2B94]
This terrible piece of nonsense comes from my initial attempt
to get something into Select magazine. I wanted to write a little
baffler, that would sit arrogantly and unquestioned in the corner
of a page. It was, however, "too much".
I
have to confess, it is a little bit shit - and now you
can wear it all over your chest or back. Should you ever want
to. Ever.
Since
then, however, Select have used my DiploMacy idea... coo!
[Full
size]
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Spacecow
Dilemma [55PQ]
What's happening here? After two years of discussion, it was eventually
decided that Black, who wore raked shoes to adhere to the notoriously
oily back of the Spacecow, was lording it over Purple, who had
the lesser job of biting out matted clumps of Spacebull spunk.
Meanwhile, a snail follows, curious at the brouhaha.
Add
your own caption options;
"While You're Down There..." 50p
"Don't Talk With Your Mouth Full" £2.50
"That snail looks like Mo Mowlam" £5.95
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A
Childish Geology Of The Earth [9Q9Q]
Crust, Core, Mantle - they all sound a bit rude, don't they? Just
a bit... so let's cut the tits and get down to it. Stop hiding
behind pseudo-rude science and start putting bad swear words over
educational pictures.
Notice
the logo, also - wicked! I've really found my font. I am dead
happy.
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By wearing
these T-Shirts, you are increasing your chances of meeting other people
who have been to this website, who will look despairingly at you and
ask you questions you will probably find it very difficult to answer.
I get it all the time!
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