Get Into The Rhythm Of The Hong Kong Swing

I have watched this video about fifty times. I don’t know how to stop watching it. I think posting it here will probably help. Fucking hell. I can’t wait to post this, so I can watch it again in my own website. It’ll be like I wrote it. (Better quality sound on the version in … Read more

Lists: The Finest Kind Of Excellence

Everyone loves a list. If a list could hit someone in the balls, they’d be the funniest thing in the world. If only someone would compile a “most traumatic nutsack impact videos” list, perhaps I could truly laugh again. To that end, allow me to point you towards Listopia – a site that looks set … Read more

Screen Bum

If anyone here reads the Guardian, then hello! You’re probably aware of Charlie Brooker. And his column, Screen Burn. And how good it nearly always is. So you’ll probably be fucking appalled to see this image, across which I have brushed the word “Wahey”. It’s only for a week, but still, I’m pretty chuffed. I’ve … Read more

Wanking In 1985

I have just been up an attic. There were cobwebs, translucent red insects, and boxes. Some of the boxes contained old games, which I’ll probably post soon as part of the “wasn’t 80s box-art awesome” shit you’d expect of a fucking games journalist. I found old issues of “The Zine”, a short-lived magazine from the … Read more

Hackasaurus

Heyup – brief hiatus there, as a slow WordPress upgrade got the site infected with Belgian Furniture and a javascript redirect to wp-stats-php.info. If you found yourself beset by Worms, then I can only pull my legs apart and offer you a free kick on my poor, asymmetrical nuts. In the meantime, here is some … Read more

Affirmations: The Opinion

I wrote a piece in today’s Guardian about affirmations. I’ve never been comfortable around affirmations. This is because I’ve always had the idea that I should live life as though I’m being watched by a studio audience, and shouting at yourself about how exactly you’re awesome is the kind of thing that would deserve a … Read more

It's Time The Tale Were Told…

…of how my trousers fell down and I laughed. If you’re thinking “that’s all very well, but’s I very much doubt if it’s something The Guardian would print in their Comments & Debate section” – if that’s what you’re thinking – then I can see your point. But you’d be wrong! Anyone buying the nation’s … Read more

Synthetic Opinion #2Large Hadron Colliders

Synthetic Opinion is my attempt to weave a strong opinion out of something I know nothing about. This one was suggested by Rob, who writes the excellent Internets Dairy. He asked: “Log, do you think the Large Hadron Collider MUST BE STOPPED in case a tiny black hole swallows the Earth? (Remember the set of … Read more

Synthetic Opinion #1The American Presidential Election

I promised to write a 700-word opinion piece on any shit you care to suggest. The only rule is that I can’t research a single thing. The first suggestion came in from Adam… “What about that hot button topic for 2008 – the US Presidential election?” No sooner said than done, Adam! And to celebrate … Read more