Nottingham’s Premier Cha-Mobile Enthusiast Adam Mason was a child with a learning disability. He was taught that the world was a safe and indulgent place, by the girls who’d surround and protect him all playtime. He called himself Cha-Man, and not without reason: for the duration of his break periods, while I was doing handstands … Read more
You might be wondering, if you’re one of the 500,000 people who come here every day, why I haven’t written anything for over three months. The despair must be corrosive for you all – here’s one email I’ve had from a lady in Scotland. Dear Log, On the 106th consecutive day without an update to … Read more
Thanks to Jammus for starting the excellent Near-Miss Heroes and Villains list over at Listopia, a list which reassured me that it doesn’t all have to be about famous people who sound like cheese. Also check out Can I Get A Widnes?, the latest list to be imported from Idiotica’s wealth of excellence. Meanwhile, let’s … Read more
I have watched this video about fifty times. I don’t know how to stop watching it. I think posting it here will probably help. Fucking hell. I can’t wait to post this, so I can watch it again in my own website. It’ll be like I wrote it. (Better quality sound on the version in … Read more
Everyone loves a list. If a list could hit someone in the balls, they’d be the funniest thing in the world. If only someone would compile a “most traumatic nutsack impact videos” list, perhaps I could truly laugh again. To that end, allow me to point you towards Listopia – a site that looks set … Read more
If anyone here reads the Guardian, then hello! You’re probably aware of Charlie Brooker. And his column, Screen Burn. And how good it nearly always is. So you’ll probably be fucking appalled to see this image, across which I have brushed the word “Wahey”. It’s only for a week, but still, I’m pretty chuffed. I’ve … Read more
I have just been up an attic. There were cobwebs, translucent red insects, and boxes. Some of the boxes contained old games, which I’ll probably post soon as part of the “wasn’t 80s box-art awesome” shit you’d expect of a fucking games journalist. I found old issues of “The Zine”, a short-lived magazine from the … Read more
Heyup – brief hiatus there, as a slow WordPress upgrade got the site infected with Belgian Furniture and a javascript redirect to wp-stats-php.info. If you found yourself beset by Worms, then I can only pull my legs apart and offer you a free kick on my poor, asymmetrical nuts. In the meantime, here is some … Read more
I wrote a piece in today’s Guardian about affirmations. I’ve never been comfortable around affirmations. This is because I’ve always had the idea that I should live life as though I’m being watched by a studio audience, and shouting at yourself about how exactly you’re awesome is the kind of thing that would deserve a … Read more
…of how my trousers fell down and I laughed. If you’re thinking “that’s all very well, but’s I very much doubt if it’s something The Guardian would print in their Comments & Debate section” – if that’s what you’re thinking – then I can see your point. But you’d be wrong! Anyone buying the nation’s … Read more